When I tell people only a mere two years before this book was released, I was smoking dope in backstreets all night with no sense of direction, you could only imagine their reaction. Further to that, only eight months later, I began coaching strong social figures twice my age, TV and radio personalities, athletes, and people all over the world. In no way am I saying this to toot my own horn, but I say it in the hope that you will realise the enormity of human capacity, which can evidently change your own life.
People began emailing from countries such as Columbia, England, USA, Brazil, South Africa, India and Ghana, thanking me for being their ‘guru’, ‘philosopher’, or ‘master trainer’. I seemed to have attracted many titles, but I wanted to avoid all of them. I didn’t like to think that these people, who are skilled in so many areas that I’m not, consider me the expert of their life. They were the only expert of their life, and ultimately the only ones who had the power to enhance it. I was just a guy following his passion who thrived on helping people find what is great in them. Some of these individuals had achieved great things. I especially wanted to avoid the title of ‘trainer’. A trainer is someone who usually teaches you new things. A coach is someone who helps drag out the great qualities in you, and create empowering strategies to get the results you want. And if life/success coaches are doing their job properly, they will be unswerving in their approach to tell you the truth, no matter how much it may hurt or how bold it sounds at the time.
Everyone needs that at some points in their life, even me. I guess that’s why even the richest and most powerful people in the world still have coaches. It doesn’t mean the coach is more intelligent than them, or is skilled in the same areas they are. I can guarantee you that if I needed to build a house, I wouldn’t be getting up there with a hammer and nails. I would call the experts, because they are great at what they do. However, no matter what the background of this diverse collection of people contacting me, nearly all of them asked me the same initial question. They all asked ‘What were the fundamental aspects of your change?’ My answer was that I relentlessly committed to answering the following five questions.
Obviously it doesn’t stop there, as there is a lot more to changing your life, but these have the power to alter its direction in an instant. As you go through each of these questions, focus on them individually for a few moments. Don’t rush, but really focus on finding answers. They are life changing:
1. What drives you every day and what is the basis of your decisions?
2. What are you going to do today, that was different to yesterday, which will ultimately shape who you are tomorrow?
3. What are the life-changing decisions you are committed to making today that will produce the results you so desperately want?
4. What’s at least one thing that you can change about your life right now, which will prevent a lifetime of pain and generate a never ending supply of pleasure?
If you don’t think you really have a clear indication of what the answers are, think harder and implement some now. You must be specific. For the first question, examples would be: wanting to give your children the best life you possibly can; to be the best person you know how to be; having that feeling of being in charge of your life; contributing to others; that feeling of success; feeling healthy and fit; holding up that trophy; and many more.
If you don’t think you really have a clear indication of what the answers are, think harder and implement some now. You must be specific. For the first question, examples would be: wanting to give your children the best life you possibly can; to be the best person you know how to be; having that feeling of being in charge of your life; contributing to others; that feeling of success; feeling healthy and fit; holding up that trophy; and many more. Those feelings must drive you, because emotion precedes action. If you refer back to those feelings, you will soon get a whole different range of emotions in which to base your decisions. This is the fifth question where great solutions are based…
5. How can I… ? ( be healthy and fit, attract that person of my dreams, get that rush in life, experience different emotions, push myself that extra mile?, get that car, take control over my life)
When the question ‘How can I…?’ is asked, it allows us to broaden our options. Inspiration is noticed everywhere, even in places that would once seem normal daily activities, like going for a walk, shopping at the mall, or driving to work. In an amazing way, signs begin jumping out everywhere. It doesn’t mean they were never there, but now your mind is subject to taking notice of them. You have enlarged the picture frame, so it increases the space for more pictures. The solutions may not be perfect instantly, but by asking this question, you will continue to come up with diverse answers. All successful people dedicate their life to finding solutions. This one question allows for responses that will benefit your current situation, rather than asking, ‘Why can’t I…?’ which continually reaffirms to yourself why you can’t create that life you desire. ‘How can I…?’ forces you to come up with answers that will drive you.
Excerpt from the book- Who Says You Can’t? YOU DO by Daniel Chidiac