When any event happens in our lives, it’s natural to react emotionally (E.g. sad, happy, scared, excited, etc.) and despite what society may tell us, it’s important to allow ourselves the space to feel these emotions. Having emotional intelligence is not about ignoring our feelings but instead developing the ability to control the way we react to them.
We do not always have a say in what situations life throws at us. However, we do have a choice in how we react to the situations we are dealt. For example, keying your ex boyfriend’s car after a breakup is NOT a good example of using emotional intelligence. If you’ve ever watched a few episodes of Judge Judy you probably catch my drift. An emotionally intelligent way of dealing with the situation would be to allow yourself to feel the sadness or anger but to express it in a healthy way like spending time with your friends, joining a gym, or taking a vacation. With this being said, having emotional intelligence is beneficial in that with it, an individual can deal with emotionally charged situations in his or her personal life, or in the workplace more effectively.
“In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”
–From Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman